Bundled Emotions

It’s just after 4 a.m. Thursday morning here in New Zealand, and I am supposed to write because I have a 16 June deadline for four stories for Interspecies: Volume 2. And yet I am not writing. My thoughts are rampant and noisy and I can’t seem to quieten them. In truth, I find myself in a dark mood.

A lot of things happened the past few weeks, including almost moving to Chicago. Yep, you heard that right. And this weekend is Lexicon, New Zealand’s National Science Fiction and Fantasy Convention. It also hosts the annual Sir Julius Vogel Award. You know, the one “Babylon’s Song” is shortlisted for.

Yesterday I joked while listening to 80s music, tweeting: “Talk about bundled emotions soaked through with nostalgia”. This is not so far from the truth. I am excited for this weekend, of course. I’ll be attending my first ever SF convention and just the idea that I *might* win a literary award is mind-boggling. Yet I have also recently learned that the contract for my day job expires at the end of June for reasons beyond my control, which sucks because now I’m back to worrying about money instead of creating drama and adventure for my characters and embracing this weekend for the bucket list-worthy event that it is.

But most of us have money woes. It’s not a new thing. Having the ability to compartmentalised those stress triggers, however, would come in handy right about now. That way I can contain its paralysing effect while teasing my creativity out of hiding. I’m already feeling guilty for complaining. It does no one any good and it’s unproductive.

So, let’s start with the compartmentalising process and focus on this weekend and allow me to give you a glimpse of Taupo where Lexicon is taking place.

It’s a beautiful piece of iconic New Zealand and situated about two hours from my hometown in Hawke’s Bay. We’ll be travelling through a mountainous region with lush valleys and breathtaking vistas and rolling plains, and then, once we cleared the many twisting passes, the snow-capped peaks of Mount Ruapehu will beckon us in the distance. I’m looking forward to this.

I promise I will take as many photos as I can and report back to you.

Wish me luck.


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